Malayatoor Pilgrimage 2014

Again Another Day, This time Perhaps It is My Final Journey to Malayatoor.

I Don’t Know My Mind Tell So.

Becoming So Old To Reach The Top of a Mountain;

Mind is Getting Old As Well As Body.

If My Spirit is So Strong, Then Perhaps If My God Wills Then My Spirit Will Over Ride The Advice of Body and Mind and Again I See Lord At The Hill Top of Malayatoor. As Lord Wish!

This Lent Season Was So Painful; The People I Met and Understood Carried Big Cross Over Their Shoulder,

They Smiled, But In Between Their Smile I Saw Tears Coming From Their Soul.

I Felt Myself So Helpless To Support Other Than Hear Them and Comfort Them.

I Realized My Hands are So Week As Well As My Authorities and Limitations As Human,

I Looked Around But Seen No One to Support Me as All are In Their Struggles to Live a Better Life,

Sometimes I Too Feel To Abandon The Strings Bound Me and Live a Free Life Ignoring The Tears of My Own Around Me.

But Even Though I Can’t Do Much,

Even Though I Am No One,

 Even Though I Am Nothing,

Even Though I Am Perhaps Just a Funny Character,

I Can Be Someone Who Can Be As Someone To See Others and Their Issue Or Their Tears.

Even Though I Am Blind and Deaf, They Don’t Know I Am Deaf And Blind Hence They Talk All Their Issues and Tears and Show Their Wounds.

I Smile Inside Because When They Show Their Wounds I Can’t See It Because I Am Blind,

When They Cry and Share Their Pain I Can’t Hear, But Knock My Head As If I Hear Everything,

I Wish To Tell Them I Am Blind and Deaf But When I Realize They are Only Looking For Someone to Share Their Pain, Their Wounds.

I Forgets To Tell That I am Blind and Deaf.

This Time I Decided To Carry All Those Wounds and Pains to Malayatoor and As Roy and Bibin Know My Issues, I Know They are There to Support Me To Reach The Hill Top.

In The Midnight, With jinto, Christy and Roy We Wander To Get a Bus To Trichur and By The Grace of God It Was Easy.

Then From There to Kalady, We Heard An Unfortunate News From Bibin Who is From Angamally That It is Private Bus Strike and We Won’t Get Bus, But No Need to Loose Hope as Govt. KSRTC Bus Will Be There.

We Too Thought as We are Going to See Lord Hence He Know How to Carry We His Children To Him.

While Reach Kalady, We Saw Many Waiting For a Bus, After Sometime We Thought Not Waste Time and Took a Autoriksha at a Fare Price and Reached the Slops of Malayatoor.

Then Sit Sometime There Out Side of a Church at the Slops Waiting for Bibin.

Perhaps This Time We All are Little Bit Relaxed and Not In That Spiritual Mode. Talked Lots of Subjects and Talked Jokes and Some Sharings.

The Time Bibin Reached and We Started Our Journey after Purchasing Some Candles and Prayer Book From The Old Mothers We Saw There.

Last Two Time We Went at Night; This is The First Time We are Moving In The Morning and Climate is So Hot. It is 8.15 Am We Started Our Journey of Way of Cross.

I Always Thought That I Can’t Able to Read or Sing The Way of Cross as I Have to Take Lot of Breath While Climbing. But Wonder In This Journey I Lead The Singing and Reading Till the End.

Yea It is True, As Human We Assumes A lot of Nonsense. But If We are With Lord He Converts Every Nonsense to Sense For His Glory and Wonder. Praises to Almighty God!

Even Though I Didn’t Able to Pray Much In This Way of Cross, I Can Able to Dedicate All The Needs of Mine and My Entire Family To Lord In Every Step and In Every Suffering and In Every Pain of Mine When I Climb The Mountain.

In This Journey I Realized When You Have Burden On Your Shoulder and When You are Heavy and Struggling to Reach a Target Then You Won’t Get Much Time To Pray, Instead You Concentrate More On Achieving Your Target Than Prayer.

Which is Wrong, If We Concentrate More on Our Target and Our Burden Then The Journey Won’t Be That Easy.

But If We Concentrate More On Prayer and Only Prayer Then Lord Will Help Us To Achieve The Target and The Journey Will Be Much More Easy.

Half of My Journey I Climbed Looking To The Next Cross and To Reach it. Oh It Was Not Easy,

But The Next Half I Climbed Praying and Calling The Name of My Lord and Yes It is Really Better Easy. 

Yea It is Hard, But His Name Helped Me to Trust Him More To Move Every Step Forward More Easy Than Before,

Perhaps It is My Assumption or Reality, One Thing Is Sure That If You Want to Achieve Your Target Then Concentrate More On Prayer Than The Target, Your Journey Will Be More Easy –

I Won’t Say You Get a Smoot Path, But I Say You Can Able to Overcome All Your Issues More Easy In a Better Way.

In Every Journey I Always Decide Not to Drink Water as It Won’t Help Me In The Journey.

But When I Reached Half of the Mountain, My Lips and throats Started to Find Some Water. As it is Day, Body Started to Sweat Like Raining, Cloths Drenched In Water as If I Had a Bath.

Half Way I Saw Water Pipes, Written Drinking Water. Even Though My Sibs Told Me Not to Drink, Even Though My Mind Told No Ron. I Run Towards The Pipe To Get Some Water.

But No Water In Any Of Those Pipes.

I Did’t I Feel Happy or Sad,

But Then In The Journey Towards The Top of Mountain I Saw Many Pipes With Water But From That One Incident I Realize That I Should Have Enough Strength To Ignore What I Should Ignore.

Sometimes Our Temptations Will Force Us To Do What We Should Not Do,

Our Good Siblings and Inner Spirit Will Also Warn Us.

But Sometimes Our Body is Weaker Than Our Inner Spirit and We Will Run Towards What We Should Not Do and We Fails Our Sibs and The Inside Holy Lord Who Lives Inside Us, Who Warned Us!

Then Reached The Top at Around 10 AM, Had Enough Water, Two Three Liters of Water and Relaxed,

When I Relaxed, I Remembered Roy and Bibin Who Knows Me and About Me and Tried to Support Me Giving Their Hands to Move Forward Every Step,

In Life We May Have Lots of Friends or Sibs or Relatives. But Than Having So Many Friends We Should Have Friends or Sibs Who Dares to Give Us Their Hands To Support Us When We Are In Trouble, We Are In Need.

May God Allow All, Good Sibs As Jesus.

Then The First Time I Participated In The Holy Mass At Hill Top and Received Jesus. As Last Two Times We Came at Night We Didn’t Get Opportunity to Attend Holy Mass.

Gave All Burdens of My All Families In His Hands and Started Our Journey Back to Down Hill.

Perhaps It is Too Hot 01.00 PM, Journey To Down Hill Easy, The Only Thing I Have to Take Care is That I Won’t Fell Down.

Last Two Time I Fallen But Always He Catch Me Hence Literaly “I Never Fallen To Say I Fall”.

 Actually This Time I Don’t Want It too, But My Mind Told Me, There is a Possibility to fall Hence I Was Slow and Steady Not to Fall.

But Body Was Week, Legs are Shivering

In Between I Saw One of My Sib Just Slipped and I Capture Him and Warn Him, But In The Next Move I Slip and Fallen Backward As Usual, But As Usual He Catch Me and I Didn’t Fell Completely.

Yea In Life, How Much We Try to Avoid Falling, It is Not Possible, Somewhere We Will Fall, But As Long as Lord is With Us, He Wont Allow Us To Fall Fully, In Between He Will Catch Us and Rise Us.

If We Won’t Fall In Our Life Time Then I Should Not Be Called Human Instead I Should Call as God. Which is Not Possible, No Body Is Perfect Other Than God.

So Let Us Not Be Ashamed of Falling Instead Make Sure That Our Lord is There Behind Us To Catch Us Before We Fall.

Thank you Lord, Love You.

Then Reached Down Hill and Took Some  Photographs and Had Some Water.

Bibin Said Bye and We Too Board Bus to Calicut.

End of Journey in 2014,

A Nice Journey. 

Thank You To God Our Heavenly Abba Father To Bless All Of Us and Our Families With Us!

Praises to God Almighty! Amen! 

The Smiling Tears Filled With Hope & Faith.

Wish to Cry, But No I Won’t, I Can’t.

On That Day itself I Decided Not to Cry;

But Now I Realize Perhaps I Took a Wrong Decision. Now I Can’t I Am Blocked Inside, My Tears Are Blocked Inside. I Wish to Burstout But I Can't. Oh!

It is Beyond My Ability to Accept, The Fire is There All Around Me, Houses are Burning, People Are Dying, They Show No Mercy to Even Children, Just Slaughters and Moving Forward Like Forces of Darkness.

Today is Their Day, Till Sun Rise They Got Time to Do Whatever They Wish, It is Allowed By The Emperor,

My Hands are Tied, But They Kept My Eyes Open To See What They Do and Ears Open To Hear The Pain of Cry When They Pierce Sword In The Flesh of My People, Our People.

Fortunate or Unfortunate My Mouth is Open, My Voice is Not Blocked, I Tried To Comfort My People With My Unworthy Words, That to Be Calm and Everything Will Be Okay By Morning When Our Lord, Our King Rise and Come Over His Horse With His Warriors.

Unfortunate People, Perhaps They Don’t Have Any Other Option; They  Trust Me and Accepts Me and Hoping For a Better Future Tomorrow,

But They Hardly Bear The Pain and I Am Helpless, I Can’t Able to Do Anything Other Than Comfort Them. My Hands are Tied, My Legs Hardly Can Move.

I Am Also Wounded, I Can’t Keep Myself Alive More Time, Still I Am Trying to Keep Myself Alive Till My King Reach Here and Makes Everything Perfect, Till I Give My Responsibility In His Mighty Hands.

I Said, Myself that I Can, I Have To.

I Smiled At Them and Told Them, It is Okay Your Wound is So Small, Just Look at Cross and See How Much He Suffered For Us, It is Much Bigger Than Ours and It is For Us, Hence Never Leave Hope, He Will Come For Us, We Suffered This Much, Now Little Bit More, The Sun is About to Rise, Some More Hours.

They Trusted Me and Said In Their Feeble Voice That They Too Have Hope and Will Stand Till The End.

But I Saw They are Fading, They are Getting Weaker and Weaker.

I Said It is Okay, Sleep Sound, When Morning Comes I Will Wake you up.

I Know I Can’t Able to Wake Them as They are Going to Sleep Forever, But I Wish To See Their Beautiful Smile Remain On Their Face; The Smile Filled With Faith and Hope.

When My Lord Come, Perhaps I Would Have Also Started My Sleeping, But Looking Our Smiling Face, He Knows How Much We Trusted Him and How Much We Expected Him!

I Am Also Feeling So Tired, Still I Am Hearing The Struggle and Pain of My People He Allowed In My Hands, But Now It is Fading, Perhaps My Hearing is Getting Weaker, My Eyes are Shutting, Oh I Need to Sleep, Oh God, When You Come Please Call Me, I Trust You, I Still Have Hope In You, Love You!