The Pain.

You Know What Is The Most Painful Moments Of Life?

It Is Not The Last Seconds Of Death, The Last Seconds Will Last For Only Few Seconds, Then It Will Fade Away From Us As It Never Even Existed.

The Most Painful Moment In Life Is When We Abandon Our Loved Ones For Their Good,

Sometimes Being With Us Only Give Them Sadness And Pain And Nothing Else, Then We Decide To Go Away From Them Beyond Their Reach.

Even Though Physically We Are Beyond Their Reach,  We Realize Our Heart Never Left Them And Wander Around Them As A Lost Soul.

Perhaps They Will Forget Us In The Struggle Of Their Life, But It Is We The Idiots Didn't Able To Forget Them,

The More We Try To Forget, The More They Become Visible In Our Heart And In Our Every Breath.

Still We Will Be Happy Seeing That They Are Now Not Asking For Their Father And Can Able To Live Their Own.

Yes, They Almost Forget Me, Now They Don't Even Remember My Face, 

Life Is Giving Me More Time To Live, 

But I Don't Know Why I Need This Much Time, 

Perhaps I Have To Cleanse Myself In This Pain Of Self Abandonment To Get Out From The Guilt  Of Sins I Did Against Them, My Own.

I Know It Is Hell, Living In This Darkest Corner Of World, Still I Am Happy, Because I Am Not Hurting Anyone,

I Tried To Make Him Understand The Reality Of Life And His Need For This World, 

But He Didn't Hear Me, 

He Said, Ron - Life Is Not Important, The Reason For Our Existence Is Important; 

With Out Reason, Life Is Just A Foolish Dream Which Never Achieves,

Just A Waste Of Time And Space.

I Said Nothing, After All He Is Mad,

He Can't Able To Understand Us,

And We Can't Able To Understand Him,

Because He Is Mad!

I Return From Him Thinking What I Lost There While Talking With That Mad; Perhaps My Time. Don't Know!

Disappointing Dreams

Sometimes Our Dreams And Expectation Will Remain As Dreams Only Without Fulfilling.

The Time We Took To Prepare, The Lost We Allowed In Our Life, The Sacrifices We Made Makes Us Sick When We Realize That Even This Much Years Of Journey, The Horizon Is Still Beyond Reach.

And One Day, Tired and Exhausted, You Will Give Up Your Dream To Touch The Horizon.

But The Days You Lost; Wandering and Seeking A Dream; Never Come Back.

Instead The Past Will Laugh At You Showing Its All Teeth As If He Succeeded In Making You Look Like An Idiot.

It is Not About The Lost Dreams, But It is About You Let Yourself As An Idiot Before The Mirror You Look Your Reflection Daily And Before The World Who Always Wanted To See Your Fault.

It Is All About The Time You Lost, The Expectations Collapsed,

But In Life Most of Our Dreams Are Mean To Get Shattered.

Sometimes Even After Our Hard Work Also The Dreams Won’t Come To Life As Reality.

And Sometimes Our Dreams Will Tell Us That I Am Not Your Dream and Fades Away From Our Life.

There Are People Who Touched Their Dreams or Grabbed Their Dreams,

But After Much Trouble When They Grab Their Dream, They Finds Unsatisfied Because They Realize That The Dream In Their Hands Is Not That Worthy Enough For The Pain They Took To Grab It.

In Them Some People are So Mysteries That They Feels They Achieved Their Dream and Now There is No Reason For Them To Move Forward, To Wander, To Get Tense, To Cry, To Expect And To Live.

Dreams Are Beautiful Angels,

But Never Make Your Life A Cemetery Of Lost Dreams or Of Dreams Thrown Away!

Life Is Mean For More Worthy Things!

It Was a Long Waiting,

It Was a Long Waiting,

Everything Changed But The Place He Waits and His Waiting Never Changed These All Years.

I Know Him Very Well, I Have Been Seeing His Endless Waiting For This Much Years, Like All I Also Did Advice Him That The Waiting is of No Use, Perhaps She is Dead or Perhaps She Don’t Even Remember You and Your Child.

Then He Tell Me That Perhaps, But Perhaps If She is Alive?

I Have No Answer For Him.

I Remember the Day They Came to Our Place, A Women, A Man and Their Beautiful Child.

They Were So Happy, They Talked To the People of Neighbourhood Friendly, In Hours They Become One of Us,

They Said They Have A Project Here For Our Good and the Prosperity of Our Land Which is Approved By The State and They Just Come Here to Visit the Place and Know People Before Official Initialization of The Official Machinery.

They Were in a Vacation Mood, Visiting Every Spots of Our Place and Takes Photographs and Enjoying Different Foods, Playing With Children, Talking To The Families and People.

Perhaps They are Gathering Data or Perhaps They are Enjoying The Visit, Don’t Know.

We Thought They are Leaving By Night, They Too Said Nothing About Staying.

The Next Day Morning We Saw Him With His Child, Sitting Under The Big Old Banyan Tree. He Was Little Bit Disturbed.

People Asked Him Why You Sit Here?

He Said I Am Waiting For My Wife, Yesterday She Told Me That She Will Be With Me Before We Return and Left Us, Hence We Are Waiting For Her Return.  Still She Didn’t Come.

The Waiting Continues Till Now, Now He is Very Old.

Other Than Machineries and Instruments For the Project No Official People Came to Take Up The Project.

When We Ask Him About The Project of The State, He Replied Us That He Can’t Able to Do It Alone, With Out Her as She Is One of The Highest Authorities Who Should Give Approval Of Every Process of The Project.

We Understood That Nothing is Going to Happen As No One In Our Local Govt Body is Aware of This Plan of The State.

My Parents and Other People Advice Him to Get Marry With a Girl From Our Place and Be One of Us, He Always Smiled And Refused.

But Always We See A Kind of Hope In Him of Her Return.

Once I Saw Tears Coming From His Eyes,

I Asked, Why Old Man You are Crying,

He Looked At Me and Said, I Am So Sad By Seeing The Condition of Your Locality, Your Place.

See There They Started a New Brothel, Girls of My Daughter’s Age, to Whom I See Since I Came Here Under This Tree are Now Grown Up and Selling Out There Like Meat In The Market.

When I Asked to Those Children Why They are Selling Themselves, They Told That Uncle There Is No Other Option Left With Us To Help Our Old Parents and Younger Siblings.

I Asked Is This The Only Way? Then They Smiled and Said. Uncle The Society is Ready To Help Us, But When They Give Help They Are Looking Something Else In Return and They Are Not Only Looking To My Body, But To My Younger Ones Too. So It is Better I Die Little By Little For The Sake of My Family.

Saying This She Laughed and She Walked To The Crowd. I Saw A Small Drop of Tear In Her Eyes.

I Said Uncle Now The World is Changing, No Body Got Time To See This Issue, All are Busy, You Just Mind About Your Own Daughter and No One Else. You Can’t Help Them, Hence Just Ignore Such Things.

He Smiled At Me and Said I Can’t Help Them And That Is My Mistake, That is My Mistake, He Shouted With Angry.

I Turned Back and Started Walking Murmuring “He is Really Mad, Now A Day Who Cares About Such Thing, Who Got Time”.

The Old Man Clapped His Hands and Called Me. I Turned,

He Asked.

Why There is a Crowd In That House, What Happen?

I Said The Mother of That House Died Yesterday, I Think They are on Their Way for The cremation.

What Happen He Asked?

I Said, I Think She Has Been Got ill for Last Several Months, But As You Know We Don’t Have Proper Medical Facility Over Here and They Don’t Have Enough Money to Take Her to The Super Speciality Hospitals at City. So She Died,

We Small People Only Got This Much Uncle, We Lives Here Like Worms and Dies Here Like Worms, No One is There To Help Us, Not Even The God.

All Facilities are Only For Rich and The Rich Never Allow Us To Become Rich Like Them. We Are Here to Accept Their Orders and To Clean Their Dirt.

They Can Use Our Girls And Boys For Their Works And Entertainments, They Can Do Whatever With Our Lands, Our Homes, No One Will Ask Them.

And Our People They Only Want to Forget All These Issues.

For That Your State Has Given Us Plenty of Liquor Shops in Every Nook. And Every Young And Old, Girl and Boy, Including Me, Drinks Till We Loose Our Conscious.

Uncle You Always Ask Me Why I Drink? This is The Reason, I Can’t Live In This World With Conscious, I Can’t Handle My Problems So I Want to Forget. Forget Everything. I Shouted And I Walked Away.

After Two Days, I Saw Him Again, He Smiled At Me.

I Too Smiled,

I Said, Uncle We Understand That You are From A Good Place, You Should Go, Why You are Wasting Your Daughter’s Life Here, Why You are Wasting Your Life Waiting Someone Who Perhaps Will Never Come.

He Looked At Me and Said, You All Are My Own In These Years, In These Years I Saw Many of My Own Dying, I Saw Many Of My Own Sacrifice Their Life For Their Loved Ones, I Saw Youth, New Generation Of This Land Kills Each Other For Reasons Unknown To Them, I Saw Parents Thrown Out By Their Own Children, I Saw Even Parents Who Sell Their Children As Slaves And In Brothels, I Saw Infants Misused By Their Own ,

Even People Who Considers As Good is Also Taking The Opportunity To Do Evil and To Hurt The Holiness of God. The Authority Who is Responsible For Saving The Land and People of Land, is Only Worrying About Themselves.

All are Running To Grab Something,

I Know Perhaps I Could Have Able to Do Some Help For You and The Land I Live With My Daughter, You are The People Who Helped Me, Who Give Shelter to Me When I Came Here and When I Become Alone.

In These Years When I See All These Losses, I Hoped That Perhaps She Will Return And Together We Can Able to Do Things Which Ultimately Help You All, Hence Even Though I See My Own Dying I Deliberately Denied Myself Crying.

But Now It is Too Late, The Losses Are Increasing And I Can’t Able to Bear This Pain,

I Am Now Worrying About My Child,

Perhaps I Can Able To Forgive Her For Hiding This Long Years Away From Me and My Child, But With These All Losses If I Lose My Child Too Then Perhaps I Will Never Forgive Her, I Will Never Forgive Her...

He Looked Very Angry, His Face Become Red and I Saw His Eyes As Fire Balls.

I Never Seen Him In So Much Anger.

I Got Little Bit Afraid, I Said, Okay, Okay Uncle,

And When I Walk to Liquor Shop I Thought, Perhaps This is The Reason Why His Wife Abandon Him, Who Can Able to Live With Such a Mad Man? Idiot.

I Wondered How His Daughter Lives With Him,

Let Him Wait, Wait As Long As He Wish, It is His Fate;

Now  It is My Time to Forget Everything, I Opened The Cap From The Liquor Bottle...

The Fallen Man

- Scribing Some Shattered Thoughts Came to My Mind, When I Sit Idle. -

Life is not that bad to me even though I Lost Many of Precious Memories from my life and  Lost Many of My Valuable Time.

I always considered and though Myself  proud of facing life face to face without fear and for the daringness inside Me to watch the future embrace Me in Its unpredictable Strong Crushing Hands.

Even though I Always Expecting an unfavourable Moment In Life; I Deliberately Suppress the Fear behind My Dreams and Hope to Not To Fall Till The End I Achieve My Targets of This Beautiful Journey.

Sometimes Dreams Shatters Like Fading Mist and Hopes Like a Fake Imagination,

The Wise Told Me Not to Dream and Not to Expect Too Much From Dreams and Hopes;

I Know, They are Right,

But They Don’t Know It is Only The Dreams and Hopes are My Companions to Find My Destiny.

Without Them I Will Be Too Alone and Won’t Able to Complete This Pilgrimage Which I Have to Finish Before Time.

In Life I always wanted to Be Strong before world and Self.

But Sometimes Life Wants Us to Come Out From the Shell We Build Around Us to Make Ourselves Comfortable By Our Fake Assumptions to Teach Us New Lessons of Life.

Last day when I Walk, Somehow I Missed One Step Before Me and my knee bend like I Just Fall,

Entire My Body Weight Came to My One Leg and It Strained My Leg Muscles and Made My Leg Difficult to Move forward.

Holding The Hands of My Friend, Immediately I Raised As If Nothing Happen.

But I Find It is Not Easy to Move Forward, In a Second Entire Body and Head Drenched With Sweat.

Yea, Always You Can’t Skip Problems, Sometimes What You Have to Face, You Have to Face.

After Taking Some Rest, We Started Walking, Crippled...

I Thought Perhaps If I Get a Pan With Me Then Perhaps I May Get Some Charity Showing My Crippled Leg,

Unfortunately We Missed to Take a Snap of That Moment in Our Mobile or Camera.

Any How We Finished Our Mission There With That Crippled Leg and I Said Bye to Him and Return Home.

On The Way Back Consultant Our Doctor and He Said Not to Worry.

Then Three Weeks,

I Understood The Value of a Leg.

No Much Pain, No Plasters, No Other Issues But I Can’t Able to Walk Properly With My Left Leg.

Even Though Doctor Asked to Take Rest, A Kind of Fear Came to My Mind.

I Said My Mind, that it is a Muscle Strain, You Can Able to Walk, Don’t Worry.

In That Moment, I Thought About People We See Around World On Wheel Chair, Crippled, With One Leg, With No Leg and Disabilities.

I Realized The Pain They Suffer Every Second of Their Life.

As Long As We Don’t Lose Anything From Us, We Won’t Understand The Value of What We Got.

Any How to Overcome My Fear, I Started to Make My Leg to Walk and Forced Him By Doing Exercises Which Really Didn’t Do Good But Worsen The Condition, Leg Feet Started Swelling.

Then I Understand I Have to Relax and Stop Struggling.

Yes, Sometimes Our Struggle Won’t Help To Solve The Problem,

Today It is Third Week, Sitting and Relaxing at Home,

Not Feeling Good or Happy, But Sometimes In Life We Will be Forced to Sit Idle and Helpless.

Actually I Have to Learn Alot and Do Some Simulations, But Didn’t Touch The Book in These Days.

Sometimes We Have Amble Time To Waste and Later We Suffer For It. Usually It Happens With Me. I Know It, But Still I am Not Learning From My Mistakes.

In These Days, I Thought About My Grandpa, He Was 84, But Strong Heart, 6 Pack Body, Clear Vision, Clear Hearing, Only He Lost Some Teeth and Some White Hairs Made Him Old Man.

One Day He Fallen and His Leg Born Broken,

Doctors Fixed It With Screws and Steel, But After He Came to Home I Didn’t See He got Courage to Walk, He Never Even Give a Try. Perhaps I Didn’t See,

I Saw Him Always in Bed Sleeping Tired, He Refused to Get Up Even Though He Can, Perhaps.

And Unfortunately It Weaken His Health and Body and In a Month He Passed Away.

I Always Confused That Why He Didn’t Try to Walk, Perhaps He Could Have Walk, Then Perhaps He Could Be Alive. But He didn’t Try.

Today, I Think Perhaps He Tried But Failed and Then Perhaps He Realized His Running is Over and He Let Himself Into The Freezing Hands of Death Without Struggle or Pain Away From Struggle and Pains of this World.

When We Have Reasons to Live, We Won’t Let Ourselves, We Will Struggle, We Will Fight; But When We Don’t Have Any Reasons to Live Further, Any Dream Left For Tomorrows; Then We No More Show Resistance To The Decision of Almighty God For a Graceful Return.

Today Sunday Is My Last Day I am Giving to Rest, Three Weeks Over, Still I Am Not Fully Cure, But I Have to Walk, I Have to Go Outside, I Have to Be Normal.

Because Sometimes It Is Not Easy to Accept The Decisions of Destiny As He Says,

Obstacles May Come In Life, Hope May Loss, Dreams May Fade, Those Who Accompanied You May Return, But You Never Changes and Your Missions, Your Pilgrimage. Everybody Has to Finish Their Destination,

For That We Should Not Get Distracted By What We See Around Us, With Us.

Because What We See is Not As It Is Seen!  

   

The Unworthy God!

I Asked Him Why are You Sitting Here? He Said, no Just to Relax, How are You?

I Said, Not Bad, I am Fine, and Sit Near Him Looking Into the Horizon,

I Again Asked Him Why You Look So Sad?

He Gave Me a Sad Smile and Told, 

You Know, I am a God, But Sometimes I Feel So Insulted and Unworthy When My Own Rejects Me.

I Said, wow, What Happen Now To Become This Much Down?

He Looked At Me For a While and Said,

When I Call Someone to Serve Me, He Comes to Me Giving Lots of Promises and Lots of Love To Me, When I See that I Feel So Proud and I Dream Good Things Over Him, Good Mission Through Him.

But When He Walk With Me In Years of Formation and Life, One Day I Will Find That He Run Away Abandon Me Even Without Telling Me a Good Bye.

Sometimes He Tells The World That My House is Bad and It is Unworthy To Be My Servant and Sometimes He Even Announce To The World That I Don’t Exist.

The Child The Most I Loved, To Whom I Dreamed and Planed Great Things Turn His Back Towards Me and Claiming That I Am Just a Myth.

I Laughed In Big Voice, He Looked at Me In a Pity Way,

I Said, Hey Bro, This is Not Your First Experience,You Know It Is How Man Behaves, So Why Worry Yaar? Just Forget It Yaar...

Taking a Long Breath He Said, Yea I Know and I Accepts But I Can’t Able to Cover My Pain, I Can’t Able to Hide My Tears.

You Know Today A Beautiful Child I Loved So Much and Carried Her On My Hands Said Good Bye To Me,

When She Said Good Bye, She Didn’t Looked At My Face As If I Am Someone Who Is So Ugly.

I Gave Everything She Wanted and Kept Her Always Near to My Heart As My Beautiful Child, My Little Bride.

But When She Left Me, She Said, You are Okay, But Your House and The People In The House is Not Acceptable For Me, Hence I Am Leaving You.

Today When I Sit Here, I Just Remember All The Promises She Made To Me and All Those Good Words She Told Me.

In These Years, I Always Wanted Her To Help Others As My Hands, Comfort Others As My Voice and Presence. But Now All Those Dreams are Just Dreams and Nothing More.

I Said, Hey, I Know The Pain, But You Can’t Do Much Yaar.

You Know All Those Who Leave You Always Got a Reason, Why You are Not Making The System Better. Perhaps They are Also Right.Don’t You Think So?

He Smiled and Said, Last Day One of My Son Left Me,The Reason He Told Is That He Loves A Girl  Who Comes From a Different Culture, Life Style and Practice and As He Can’t Live Without Her, As He Loves Her So Much,  He Decided to Reject Me and Throw Me Out From His Life For Her.

You Think They Rejects Me Only Because of System?No, They Always Have a Reason To Reject Me; Or They Will Make a Reasons To Reject Me For Their Gain, Because For Them I Am Just a Servant Who Gives Them What All They Ask, For Them I Am Just A Guard Who Protects Them From Hazards 

For Them I Am Just A Foolish God Who Forgives Them What All Bad They Do For The Sake of My Love Towards Them.

Do You Think I Am a Heart Less Person Who Can Be Used When You Need and You Can Throw Me When You Don’t Want Me In Your Life?

I Also Got Flesh, Blood and a Good Heart.

You Always Got Right to Reject Me, Pain Me, Insult Me. But Please Understand I Am a God and When You Do These All To Me I Feels Hurt, My Eyes Floods With Tears, My Heart Breaks.

He Paused and Continued,

Yea, Perhaps I Am Loving Them Too Much That I Forgets What They Do To Me In These Years, Yes I Am a Foolish God Who Loves Them This Much That Even By Giving My Own Life I Purchased Them,

Let Them Reject Me, Hurt Me, Wound Me, Insult Me,But I Won’t Stop Loving Them.

This is How I Am Going To Take Revenge upon Them,

The More They Hurt Me, The More I Love Them.

And I Have Hope That One Day They Will Learn to Love Me As I Love Them.

I Will Make Them Force to Love Me.

I Said Nothing,

Let Us Go Bro, It is Getting Late. I Said and Stood,

He Said, No, You Go, I Want Sometime More Here With My Heavenly Father, I Have to Convince Him That I Am Okay and Didn’t Hurt and Still I Didn’t Fail, Today or Tomorrow I Will Win The Hearts of My People, My Children.

I Left Him There.

I Don’t Know The Future, But I Know His Passion Is So Pure and Strong That One Day, Man Kind Will Know How Much He Loves Them and Will Be Forced To Love Him IN RETURN!

Way of Cross at Wayanad Ghat Road 2014

It is Another Year To Wayanad Ghat Road Covering 14 KM of Way of Cross With Antony and Christy Theckan.

 

This Time I Really Missed The Presence of Mr. Bibin and Mr. Rajesh.

 

Last Two Time We All Together Achieved The Journey.

 

It is Nice to Cover Each Cross and Each of 9 Hair Pin Bends, Around 3 to 4 Hour Walk. A Kind of Spiritual Realization and Satisfaction When Achieving Each Point of Way of Cross.

 

The Pain of Legs, The Tiredness of Body And The Long Path Before Us Is Life, Which Stands Before Us, As Can't Be Achieved.

 

But If Determination Is There At Heart Then We Can Able to Achieve Any Hard Targets.

 

I Have Seen That The Prayer While Journey and The Song We Sing As Prayer Helped Us To Forget the Suffering of Body and Tiredness and Helped Us to Achieve Upto The 14th Cross Easy.

 

Means, Only Determination Won't Make Journey Effective, We Have to Be With God In Our Journey To Achieve It,

 

In Every Second If We Stand With Him, Travel With Him Then He Will Hold Us and Strengthen Us to Earn Our Success In Life.

 

Last Time, When I Get A Message Over My Phone In The Last Laps of Way of Cross, Disturbed My Mind and I Find It So Hard To Move Further Steps Because of My Angry Heart.

 

This Time I Made It Sure That I Don't Attend Phones or Messages, It Helped Me To Keep My Heart In Prayer and Calmness.

 

Yea, If Sin is There With Us Then It is So Hard to Achieve Our Life. Hence If We Find Anything is Not Helping Us To Gain Our Target Then We Should Remove The Sin In Us,

 

We Should Drop The Burden "Sin" In The Hands of Lord So That We Can Able to Move Light Weight and Easy.

 

Last Time I Thought Not To Drink Water and Move Forward But It Really Weaken My Body, As I Have a Body Structure Which Sweats Easy and My Cloths Will Change its Colors to White Because of Salt.

 

This Time I Changed That Too, I Had Enough Water, Which Helped Me Alot In The Journey to Move Easy.

 

In Our Life Also We Need Enough Holy Spirit With Us To Help Us Move Forward. Our Own Strength Won't Help Us To Reach The Targets We Expects In Our Life.

 

Hence Let Us Have Enough or More Than Enough Holy Spirit With Us, So That We Live Till We Accomplish Our Mission In This Holy Life!

 

Thank You Christy For This Journey as It is You Who Inspired Me The First Time To Join This Beautiful Journey of Way of Cross at Wayanad Ghat Road.

Malayatoor Pilgrimage 2014

Again Another Day, This time Perhaps It is My Final Journey to Malayatoor.

I Don’t Know My Mind Tell So.

Becoming So Old To Reach The Top of a Mountain;

Mind is Getting Old As Well As Body.

If My Spirit is So Strong, Then Perhaps If My God Wills Then My Spirit Will Over Ride The Advice of Body and Mind and Again I See Lord At The Hill Top of Malayatoor. As Lord Wish!

This Lent Season Was So Painful; The People I Met and Understood Carried Big Cross Over Their Shoulder,

They Smiled, But In Between Their Smile I Saw Tears Coming From Their Soul.

I Felt Myself So Helpless To Support Other Than Hear Them and Comfort Them.

I Realized My Hands are So Week As Well As My Authorities and Limitations As Human,

I Looked Around But Seen No One to Support Me as All are In Their Struggles to Live a Better Life,

Sometimes I Too Feel To Abandon The Strings Bound Me and Live a Free Life Ignoring The Tears of My Own Around Me.

But Even Though I Can’t Do Much,

Even Though I Am No One,

 Even Though I Am Nothing,

Even Though I Am Perhaps Just a Funny Character,

I Can Be Someone Who Can Be As Someone To See Others and Their Issue Or Their Tears.

Even Though I Am Blind and Deaf, They Don’t Know I Am Deaf And Blind Hence They Talk All Their Issues and Tears and Show Their Wounds.

I Smile Inside Because When They Show Their Wounds I Can’t See It Because I Am Blind,

When They Cry and Share Their Pain I Can’t Hear, But Knock My Head As If I Hear Everything,

I Wish To Tell Them I Am Blind and Deaf But When I Realize They are Only Looking For Someone to Share Their Pain, Their Wounds.

I Forgets To Tell That I am Blind and Deaf.

This Time I Decided To Carry All Those Wounds and Pains to Malayatoor and As Roy and Bibin Know My Issues, I Know They are There to Support Me To Reach The Hill Top.

In The Midnight, With jinto, Christy and Roy We Wander To Get a Bus To Trichur and By The Grace of God It Was Easy.

Then From There to Kalady, We Heard An Unfortunate News From Bibin Who is From Angamally That It is Private Bus Strike and We Won’t Get Bus, But No Need to Loose Hope as Govt. KSRTC Bus Will Be There.

We Too Thought as We are Going to See Lord Hence He Know How to Carry We His Children To Him.

While Reach Kalady, We Saw Many Waiting For a Bus, After Sometime We Thought Not Waste Time and Took a Autoriksha at a Fare Price and Reached the Slops of Malayatoor.

Then Sit Sometime There Out Side of a Church at the Slops Waiting for Bibin.

Perhaps This Time We All are Little Bit Relaxed and Not In That Spiritual Mode. Talked Lots of Subjects and Talked Jokes and Some Sharings.

The Time Bibin Reached and We Started Our Journey after Purchasing Some Candles and Prayer Book From The Old Mothers We Saw There.

Last Two Time We Went at Night; This is The First Time We are Moving In The Morning and Climate is So Hot. It is 8.15 Am We Started Our Journey of Way of Cross.

I Always Thought That I Can’t Able to Read or Sing The Way of Cross as I Have to Take Lot of Breath While Climbing. But Wonder In This Journey I Lead The Singing and Reading Till the End.

Yea It is True, As Human We Assumes A lot of Nonsense. But If We are With Lord He Converts Every Nonsense to Sense For His Glory and Wonder. Praises to Almighty God!

Even Though I Didn’t Able to Pray Much In This Way of Cross, I Can Able to Dedicate All The Needs of Mine and My Entire Family To Lord In Every Step and In Every Suffering and In Every Pain of Mine When I Climb The Mountain.

In This Journey I Realized When You Have Burden On Your Shoulder and When You are Heavy and Struggling to Reach a Target Then You Won’t Get Much Time To Pray, Instead You Concentrate More On Achieving Your Target Than Prayer.

Which is Wrong, If We Concentrate More on Our Target and Our Burden Then The Journey Won’t Be That Easy.

But If We Concentrate More On Prayer and Only Prayer Then Lord Will Help Us To Achieve The Target and The Journey Will Be Much More Easy.

Half of My Journey I Climbed Looking To The Next Cross and To Reach it. Oh It Was Not Easy,

But The Next Half I Climbed Praying and Calling The Name of My Lord and Yes It is Really Better Easy. 

Yea It is Hard, But His Name Helped Me to Trust Him More To Move Every Step Forward More Easy Than Before,

Perhaps It is My Assumption or Reality, One Thing Is Sure That If You Want to Achieve Your Target Then Concentrate More On Prayer Than The Target, Your Journey Will Be More Easy –

I Won’t Say You Get a Smoot Path, But I Say You Can Able to Overcome All Your Issues More Easy In a Better Way.

In Every Journey I Always Decide Not to Drink Water as It Won’t Help Me In The Journey.

But When I Reached Half of the Mountain, My Lips and throats Started to Find Some Water. As it is Day, Body Started to Sweat Like Raining, Cloths Drenched In Water as If I Had a Bath.

Half Way I Saw Water Pipes, Written Drinking Water. Even Though My Sibs Told Me Not to Drink, Even Though My Mind Told No Ron. I Run Towards The Pipe To Get Some Water.

But No Water In Any Of Those Pipes.

I Did’t I Feel Happy or Sad,

But Then In The Journey Towards The Top of Mountain I Saw Many Pipes With Water But From That One Incident I Realize That I Should Have Enough Strength To Ignore What I Should Ignore.

Sometimes Our Temptations Will Force Us To Do What We Should Not Do,

Our Good Siblings and Inner Spirit Will Also Warn Us.

But Sometimes Our Body is Weaker Than Our Inner Spirit and We Will Run Towards What We Should Not Do and We Fails Our Sibs and The Inside Holy Lord Who Lives Inside Us, Who Warned Us!

Then Reached The Top at Around 10 AM, Had Enough Water, Two Three Liters of Water and Relaxed,

When I Relaxed, I Remembered Roy and Bibin Who Knows Me and About Me and Tried to Support Me Giving Their Hands to Move Forward Every Step,

In Life We May Have Lots of Friends or Sibs or Relatives. But Than Having So Many Friends We Should Have Friends or Sibs Who Dares to Give Us Their Hands To Support Us When We Are In Trouble, We Are In Need.

May God Allow All, Good Sibs As Jesus.

Then The First Time I Participated In The Holy Mass At Hill Top and Received Jesus. As Last Two Times We Came at Night We Didn’t Get Opportunity to Attend Holy Mass.

Gave All Burdens of My All Families In His Hands and Started Our Journey Back to Down Hill.

Perhaps It is Too Hot 01.00 PM, Journey To Down Hill Easy, The Only Thing I Have to Take Care is That I Won’t Fell Down.

Last Two Time I Fallen But Always He Catch Me Hence Literaly “I Never Fallen To Say I Fall”.

 Actually This Time I Don’t Want It too, But My Mind Told Me, There is a Possibility to fall Hence I Was Slow and Steady Not to Fall.

But Body Was Week, Legs are Shivering

In Between I Saw One of My Sib Just Slipped and I Capture Him and Warn Him, But In The Next Move I Slip and Fallen Backward As Usual, But As Usual He Catch Me and I Didn’t Fell Completely.

Yea In Life, How Much We Try to Avoid Falling, It is Not Possible, Somewhere We Will Fall, But As Long as Lord is With Us, He Wont Allow Us To Fall Fully, In Between He Will Catch Us and Rise Us.

If We Won’t Fall In Our Life Time Then I Should Not Be Called Human Instead I Should Call as God. Which is Not Possible, No Body Is Perfect Other Than God.

So Let Us Not Be Ashamed of Falling Instead Make Sure That Our Lord is There Behind Us To Catch Us Before We Fall.

Thank you Lord, Love You.

Then Reached Down Hill and Took Some  Photographs and Had Some Water.

Bibin Said Bye and We Too Board Bus to Calicut.

End of Journey in 2014,

A Nice Journey. 

Thank You To God Our Heavenly Abba Father To Bless All Of Us and Our Families With Us!

Praises to God Almighty! Amen!